just a thought…

Before I though a soul mate is my perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But now I think a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows me everything that is holding me back, the person who brings me to my own attention so I can change my life.ย 

A true soul mate is probably the most important person I’ll ever meet, because they tear down my walls and smack me awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. It’s too painful. Soul mates, they come into my life just to reveal another layer myself to me, and then leave. Iย cry because I feel heartbroken, I feel betrayed, that I am left in thin air. I even regret the day I met him because of the pain he caused.

A soul mates purpose is to shake me up, tear apart my ego a little bit, show me my obstacles and addictions, break my heart open so new light can get in, make me so desperate and out of control that I have to transform my life, then introduce me to my spiritual master…

Just like my friend. I was so certain that he was the perfect guy for me. He showed me that I can be patient in so many ways I couldn’t imagine. Ever. I discovered that I can give everything even give up something just to be with him. But I also realized one thing: You can’t force someone to stay in your life forever. It’s either you hurt him or he’ll hurt you. In my case I was the one who got hurt because I never wanted him to leave. And it left a scar that will stay forever. Maybe he was meant just to pass by and leave a mark… but not to stay with me forever. That hurt me because I was not willing to let him go and just give up. Because that’s what I believed in, I should never give up fighting for what I think I deserve. But maybe I really don’t deserve him, and he doesn’t deserve me either that’s why we ended up like this.

Did I learn my lesson? Yes. Maybe letting him go and making a step away from him would make me a better person. Maybe I have to explore things around me and gain more experiences that I can share with someone else. That maybe, somewhere far away from him, I’d find that person, who’d stay with me forever and will never leave me like he did…


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