by Amy Chan (justmytype.ca)
You meet the man of your dreams. As he courts you, he showers you with attention and affection. He woos you with flowers, surprises you with incredibly fun dates. He’s handsome, smart, and thoughtful. He’s everything you dreamed of…in the beginning.
Fast forward two years. Your once “dream man” now works all the time. When he does have a spare moment, he’s doing “boys night” or downing a beer while watching the game. No roses, no romance, and definitely no more spontaneity. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?
Why is it that often, people put their best foot forward in the beginning of a relationship only to minimize that effort as time passes?
Call it laziness, human nature or a lack of experience. But whatever you do, do not believe that the relationship crash was inevitable, and that it wasn’t a choice. Because it was. Not putting your partner as a top priority and being proactive in nurturing and feeding your relationship is a choice, and that choice has consequences. I’ve met many people that only realize they need to step up their game when there is a threat of losing the other person. And usually, by that time, it’s too late. The damage is done. There are too many weeds in the garden for anything healthy to bloom anymore.
Whatever your relationship requires in order to stay healthy and to continue to grow, take action while it’s good, not when it hits a low. Whether that is seeking couples counseling, grooming yourself to remain attractive to your partner, showing love through romantic gestures or going on spontaneous dates to keep things exciting – be proactive, not reactive. By the time your partner is upset because he/she feels their love tank is on low, it takes twice the amount of effort to get it back to a healthy level.
Just because you’ve found “the one” and you’re comfortable and content, doesn’t mean it goes on cruise control. You need to constantly put in effort and TRY. This also applies to friendships, to any close relationship actually.
Nurture your important relationships. It’s a lot easier to be proactive and maintain a positive one than reacting to fix a broken one.