Well this is my first post for 2015, (HURRAY!) actually my latest post since… I dunow, last year? I got kinda busy with a lot of stuff (THAT’S WHY!) and honestly I don’t have any idea what to write…
AND SO… I came across this post and it made me think.. (TOPICS LIKE THIS ALWAYS MAKE ME THINK… 😛) I had the same feeling since I’ve been alone for almost 3 years… This feeling that you’re trying to adjust so that you’d fit the description of being ‘THE ONE”… To the point that you’re willing to lose yourself in the process. But I realized that it doesn’t work that way.. Well definitely not for everyone. as for my case, people – most people think just because I am a professional, I am a what they call ‘high maintenance’ type of girl. In reality, I am just like any ordinary girl… Often they assume rather than get to know me better which kinda suck… OR they get intimidated and scared because they say I am mataray… But am I really???
You’re Not a “Plan B” Kind of Girl by Ashlin Horne
You deserve better than someone who is afraid to commit to you. It may seem like enough for now. You’re just taking things slow. Oh, how I know those little phrases of “one day” and“we just need time.” You believe them. And I’ve believed them.
But you’re not a “Plan B” kind of girl.
You need to know that you’re not the invisible one standing in the back who gets chosen last. You’re the girl who the team captain will be frantically hoping doesn’t get picked by someone else before he gets a turn. You’re a first-pick kind of girl. And no one worth having sits back and lets those girls wait around.
‘Cause every good man knows that the good ones get gone fast. He should be jumping out of his skin in anticipation to call out your name and say “I pick you.”
“But he’s scared” “…and I’ve got commitment issues” “…and we don’t like labels.”
And. And. And.
Like a fool, I’ve stood there picking at the fabric of my sweater and spinning excuses. I’ve heard them all. I’ve used them all. “He’s been hurt.” “He’s busy.” “He’s in school.” “He doesn’t have a good car.” “He has Momma issues.” “His Dad left.” “His Great Aunt’s second cousin’s puppy just died.”
You’re not the kind of girl who needs to make excuses for him. Good girls don’t have to finish last. Honey, you must be at the wrong game and with the wrong players. Because you’re not a substitute, average, or second string. You’re a catch. You are beautiful and funny and fabulous. Rooms light up when you walk in. Heads turn when you giggle and the earth itself adores the kiss of your feet. You are worthy to be chosen, pursued, adored, loved, respected and informed. This whole “Do we really have to define this thing?” is almost always a delicate way of asking “Will you fill this lonely spot until I decide nothing better is coming along?” Stop being afraid that you are not worthy enough to be claimed. Stop thinking “I’ll take what I can get. Maybe I will be enough for him one day. Maybe he will be enough for me.” Don’t even consider the lie that says; “I can’t set my standards too high, because if I do, I might end up alone.” Better to be alone than taken for granted. Better to be alone than to be a placeholder. The one that loves you isn’t afraid to say it. If he loves you, he won’t even blink because the idea of giving another man the chance to swoop in is just unacceptable.
He’ll fight and use labels or poems or the Goodyear blimp to show you that you’re just the right fit for that open place in his heart. That no other piece will do. You should be nobody’s second choice. And if you are, then they are just that; NOBODY.
He’ll lose his pride to tell you that you make him nervous and he’ll spend his heart to find what makes you laugh. He’ll tell you that you’re worth words and flowers and promises. And you’ll believe him, because you’ll see it in the way he watches you walk across a room. You won’t have to question it by analyzing a text message or deciphering the tone of an e-mail. Because he’ll drive over on a Tuesday to bring you coffee and you’ll see it in his face and hear it in the way he asks about your day. Your answer will lie in the memories of nervous beginnings and awkward introductions. You’ll know because the questions didn’t take long to fade. Because he said what he meant and meant what he said. And even when he messed up; he made up. You’re not his back pocket plan, fill-in girl, or multiple choice answer. You are fierce and a force to be reckoned with and the kind of girl whose beauty calls for hand-written notes, words like “wow” and car rides to the ocean. Take nothing else and be nothing less. Be the kind of girl who deserves him and treats him with kindness. Who laughs at his jokes and thanks him when he opens your door. Leave the head games behind you. Encourage him and wear the kinds of dresses that make him respect you. Be the kind of girl who gasps at his surprises and hugs him for his compliments. Be worthy of the kind of man that you deserve and & the man that he was born to be.
Stop waiting for the guy who isn’t sure you’re enough and respect yourself enough to wait for the one that knows you are.
“So this is how you feel when you give up the one you truly love…”
Giving up. Letting go. Ano ang pinagkaiba ng dalawa? Ano ang mas mahirap? Pagsuko o Pagbitiw? Parang pareho lang naman di ba? Kaya lang ilagay natin sa isang sitwasyon. Paano kung isinuko ka? bibitiwan mo na ba? Pano kung binitiwan ka na? Susuko ka na rin ba?
Mahirap malagay sa isang sitwasyon na hindi mo alam kung asan ka na, kung saan ka lulugar, kung paano ka kikilos at kung ano ang dapat mong maramdaman. Mahirap umasa sa isang relasyong alam mo na wala ka nang mahihintay at alam mo na wala nang patutunguhan pero kahit alam mo na lahat ng iyon at alam mo na kung ano ang dapat mong gawin, still, hindi mo pa rin ginagawa.
Pinipilit mong huwag isipin, pamanhirin ‘yung utak mo para kahit papaano mabawasan yung sakit. Para kahit kaunti ay maging masaya ka sa kung ano na lang ‘yung natira sa ‘yo, kahit halos lahat ay kinuha na niya… — O mas tamang sabihin, halos lahat ay mo na sa kanya.
Sa una talaga ay masaya magkaroon ng karelasyon kasi alam mong may masasandalan ka sa mga oras na kailangan mo ng karamay, alam mong may halaga ka kasi kaya mong magpasaya ng ibang tao.
Ang sarap sa pakiramdam kasi habang tinitingnan mo ‘yung tao na yun masasabi mo,” –ah, itong tao na ‘to mahal ako, ang sarap isipin na may nagmamahal sa akin, na ako lang ‘to pero mahal niya ko”. Ginawa mo siyang sentro na buhay mo. Pinlano mo na yung natitirang mga taon, buwan, araw at pati minuto ng buhay mo na kasama siya. Panatag ka na walang magbabago kasi wala ka namang nakikitang mali, wala naman siyang inirereklamo, wala ka namang nakikitang kakaiba o kung meron man, hindi mo binigyang pansin kasi akala mo natural lang iyon sa isang relasyon, natural naman na magkaroon ng mga problema.
Pero masakit isipin na bigla na lang mag-iiba yung takbo ng buhay mo kasi may mawawala sa ‘yo. Na yung akala mong ok lang eh hindi pala, yung akala mong natural lang, naipon na at naging hindi pangkaraniwan.
Magtatanong ka sa sarili mo, BAKIT? Anong nangyari? Saan ka nagkamali? Saan ka nagkulang o sumobra? Anong mga bagay yung hindi o dapat mong ginawa?
Ang dami-dami mong tanong, kaya lang nakakaawa ka kasi hindi mo alam yung sagot, ‘yung isang taong may hawak ng susi sa mga tanong mo iniwan ka na. At ngayon kung ituring ka parang wala kang nagawa para sakanya, na parang hindi siya naging masaya noong mga panahong kayo pa, na ikaw pa yung kasama niya.
Unfair ba? Eh anong magagawa mo kung habang ipinaglalaban mo siya, isinuko ka na niya? At anong kaibahan ang magagawa mo kung kahit isinuko ka na niya, ipinaglalaban mo pa rin siya? Naisip mo ba na dapat ka nang bumitiw?
Ngunit kailan ka nga ba dapat bumitiw? Kailan mo nga ba dapat sabihin na tama na? Kapag isinuko ka ba ng taong mahal mo dapat ba isuko mo na din siya? Maninindigan ka ba sa bagay na nasabi at nagawa mo na? Wala na bang bawian kahit alam mo na nagkamali ka? Parang referee lang ba na kung ano yung unang itinawag yun na yun kahit mali? Maitatama mo ba ng isa pang mali ang kamaliang nagawa mo na? Paano na kung may iba nang nagpapasaya sa kaniya, at pinagbubuhusan ng atensyon, may laban ka pa ba?
Kung ako ang tatanungin, hindi ko rin alam ang mga kasagutan sa mga tanong na iyon, kasi kahit ako, iyon din ang tanong ko sa sarili ko.
“Is it all worth fighting for?” Should I let go and give up?” May pag-asa pa ba? Maghihintay pa ba ko?
Hindi na siguro.. Pero ang pagsuko at pagbitiw ko ay hindi tanda ng karuwagan, para sa akin ito ay pagkakaroon ng lakas at tapang na talikuran ang mga bagay na nagpapahirap sa buhay ko. Ngayon masasabi ko, maninindigan ako ngunit hindi sa mali, kundi sa kung ano ang tama at sa kung ano yung alam kong makakabuti para sa sarili ko at para sa taong mahal ko. Susuko at bibitiw ako para bigyang daan yung isang taong dadating para patunayan sa akin na hindi ako nagkamali sa naging mga desisyon ko sa ngayon… and then pagkatapos ng lahat ng ito I’ll say,
“So this is how you feel when you gave up the one you ONCE truly love..”
The Last is most of the time the beginning of something new, something better and something more wonderful… Still a proud thomasian and always will be 🙂
Remember how hopeful we were when the season started? Remember how we felt that this would be OUR year? Remember how excited we all were? In a blink of an eye, it’s just gone. The silence of the bomb exploding in every Thomasian’s heart is unexpected.
“…and probably the saddest part of it all is knowing that after 7 years of trying, 2 of those years are spent being just ‘close enough’, we will always be second best.” – This hanging sentence that made almost no sense to anyone whose heart is not breaking means the world to a Thomasian who greatly anticipated the knockout game of the De LaSalle Green Archers and the UST Growling Tigers. This exact same sentence was the only thing I can cling to when the final buzzer sounded.
The UST Tigers heartbreak is not new.
It was 2004 when I wrote a story re-making…
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September 24, 2013
Eye of the Tiger
On this one lazy day at the Shakey’s near the Malate Church fronting the breathtaking Manila Bay, UAAP Final Four protagonists University of Santo Tomas and National U were lined up as guests in the Philippine Sportswriters Association (PSA) Forum just before noon. The Tigers were represented by their coach Pido Jarencio while the Bulldogs their mentor Eric Altamirano and their top dog, former two-time MVP Bobby Ray Parks, Jr.
It turned out the calm noon will be laced with booming fireworks by no less than Jarencio himself.
In a story written by Rueben Terrado of spin.ph, the words that came out in Jarencio’s mouth spewed nothing but scud missiles laced with tear gas on the side. Jarencio, one of the funniest, most entertaining and quotable coaches in Phl basketball next probably to the living legend Robert, “Sonny” Jaworski, Sr., had…
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